Filipino Health Secretary, Manuel Dayrit, announced some very startling news on Tuesday. According to government statistics, as many as 30 per cent of couples in the Philippines are unaware that having sex can result in babies! (We are not making this stuff up, honestly!). Dayrit told reporters in Manila, "They do not know how pregnancy happens even though some of them have had numerous children already."
30% of Filipinos are unaware sex can result in babies - Weird news & funny pictures
Photo 1: Now pay attention everybody. Here are the facts of life. Acting like this may cause the outcome shown in the next photo.
Photo 2: Yes folks! It's Trailer Trash Barbie going shopping for her babies' Daddies!
The shocking discovery came after a government study on population control was carried out in this strongly Catholic country of over 84 million people.
The survey found that in many cases, the couples had not made the connection between having intercourse and having babies and simply believed the children were 'gifts from God'.
Dayrit attributed the ignorance over sex to the conservatism of Philippine society. "A lot of it is cultural because people don't talk about sex," he said.
Not surprisingly, the Catholic church, which counts over 80 percent of the population as followers, has been actively opposed to the sex education campaign, preferring instead to keep its followers in the Dark Ages.
Filipino Arch Bishop, Pedro Martinez explained the church's position on the highly sensitive issue of sex education, to the Gag Report, earlier this week.
"Basically, if us priests aren't getting any than nobody else should be!", he stated. "And that comes straight from the top, if you know what I mean", he continued. He then went on to deny rumors that the Church has recently been promoting intercourse with alter boys as a risk-free, low-cost alternative for those families concerned about pregnancy.
Luckily, here in the US, our Constitution clearly separates the Church and State and so we are completely free of all that religious dogma-crap. (Honestly!)
In fact, this week, former president Bill Clinton and wife Hillary, offered their support to an alternative sex education policy entitled the "Show All -Tell All" program. Educational leaders described the course as a refreshing change to the current administration's existing "Shut up and keep your legs crossed" policy.
Photos: Former president Bill Clinton explains the facts of life to some of the younger students at the Blessed Virgin High school in Arkansas.
But what can be done to help all those families in the Philippines who's religious leaders have kept them firmly locked in the poverty cycle? After all, we can't very well ship Mr. Clinton out there for good. (We couldn't have America's future First Gentleman living outside of our borders now could we?)
The guys here at the Gag Report have a creative solution. We call it the "Barbie Facts of Life 101" program. The idea is that whenever a little girl plays with "Sorority Slut Barbie" , (shown in photo 1), she is then forced to play with "Trailer Trash Barbie", (shown in photo 2), for an extended period. After a few play sessions, we are sure they will start to get the general idea!
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