World Exclusive - Michael Jackson's penis photo leaked to the Gag Report
Despite the obvious relief of finding out that he won't actually have to spend the next 18 years "servicing" a 280 lb cell mate called "Bubba", Michael Jackson's troubles appear to have only just begun. Ever since his amazing acquittal on Tuesday, the dethroned King of Popsicles has been terrified that photos of his genitals, taken by police during his child molestation trial, would be leaked to the press out of spite by bitter Santa Barbara County prosecutor Tom Sneddon. And it looks like Jackson had good reason to be afraid!
In fact, the Gag Report is proud to bring our readers a world exclusive - a leaked photograph of Michael Jackson's penis! And by the looks of it, it appears that the King of Pop's one-eyed trouser-snake is as weird as the rest of him!
Photo 1: "Wot you talkin' about, Sneddon?" - The Gag Report has the world exclusive on the notorious Jacko's 'wacko' photos
Photo 2: The sketch of MJ's old John Thomas was actually surprisingly accurate. Little Jordy appears to have captured the unusually shaped head rather well
The leaked photo is one of a series that were taken on Christmas Eve 1993 after a subpoena was served on Jackson by the rabid Santa Barbara County prosecutor who ordered the popstar's sex organ to be photographed.
Sneddon then asked Jackson's first accuser JORDY CHANDLER to draw a picture of the 46-year-old's genitals in 1993, because Chandler claimed the singer had a unique blemish on his member. Unfortunately, little Jordy wasn't much of an artist and hence, a positive match was not achieved. (Which is quite strange since Jackson had described the lad to police as being "very talented with his hands.")
Sneddon's next idea of having a 'penis identity parade' was rejected by Jackson's lawyers since the shy popstar refused to insert his wedding tackle through a hole in a wall along with and seven volunteers.
"I'm very selective which hole I put it in", Jackson had told police at the time.
After winning their case this week, Jackson's lawyers demanded Sneddon immediately surrender all nude photos taken by police of the pop star's penis area. They were shocked, however, when the bitter prosecutor refused to give them back claiming that he no longer had them. Jackson immediately began to fear that Sneddon would somehow leak the images to the public in revenge for losing the case.
"Why will you not end this, Mr. Sneddon, once and for all?" a top Jackson insider asked late Tuesday. "Do you enjoy them?"
But as the photo arrived at the Gag Report offices this morning in a brown enveloped post-marked Santa Barbara County, it looks like it's too late for the Jackson team to save the star from further embarrassment.Of course, due to our professional ethics the guys here at the Gag Report cannot reveal our source but let's just say this - if we are ever arrested in Santa Barbara - we have a very strong feeling that the charges will quickly be dropped.
© 2004-2005 The Gag Report ™. All rights reserved.
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