With Christmas less than a week away, it appears that some of religion's heaviest hitters have embarked on a global publicity campaign. Yes folks, last week, a dentist office in Arizona, witnessed an apparition of old J.C. himself which appeared in an x-ray of a patient's teeth. (It might not be exactly the second coming of Christ but at least it shows he's making an effort! After all, the least he can do is turn up to his own damn birthday party once in while!)
Funny Weird News - Jesus apparition captured on tooth X-ray
Photos: "Holy Teeth!" Jesus and his mom sure are getting around these days!
The patient, a devout Christian, attempted to explain why the son of God had chosen his particular mouth to launch his new Christmas publicity campaign.
"I'm honored!", he told the Gag Report on Friday, "I've always taken special care of my teeth, cleaning and flossing three times a day and now it looks like the Lord has decided to reward my oral hygiene with my very own personal visitation!"
(The guys here at the Gag Report were just thankful that the Lord didn't decide to personally reward one of the patients at the neighboring proctologist's office!)
But Jesus wasn't the only religious figure choosing bizarre locations for their earthly appearances. Earlier this month his mom, the Virgin Mary, appeared in a 10-year old ham and cheese sandwich.
Photo 1: Holy Cheese Sandwich! Where else would the Virgin Mary decide to make her appearance? It all makes perfect sense
Photo 2: John the Baptist miraculously appeared on a piece of toast right here in the kitchen of the Gag Report offices.
For some reason, the sandwich, which had a bite taken out of one corner, had been kept in an air-tight baggy by it's owner, for the past decade. (Maybe he was saving it for later?)
Believe it or not, the sandwich was later sold on eBay for a whooping $28,000. (We found that even more unbelievable than the Virgin's image appearing on the damn thing in the first place!)
But then on Saturday, a Christmas miracle appeared right here at the Gag Report offices. One of out reporters, whilst making his breakfast, was shocked to discover a piece of toast that bears the unmistakable image of John the Baptist!
Since all the guys here at the Gag Report are highly religious, we initially voted not to cheapen this miraculous apparition by selling it to the highest bidder. But then after careful consideration, we changed our minds. After all, who are we to deprive the world of the chance to be the proud owner of their very own Christmas miracle?
So role up! Role up! Get your John the Baptist Toast here! Bids start at $10,000. Buy now and we'll throw in a potato chip that looks just like Elvis.
© 2004 The Gag Report ™. All rights reserved.
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