---

 

Happy F*#king Christmas, everybody. Ho! Ho! Ho!

Ah Christmas! That magical time of the year when people from all walks of life join together to bask in the spirit of goodwill to one's fellow man. Or maybe not? Especially if a New York family's macabre Christmas display featuring a bloody Santa Claus wielding a knife while holding a severed head with blood gushing from its eyes, has any thing to do with it. (Go to funny weird news story).

Back to top

---

---

Man gets 5 years for tainting food with dried fecal matter

For several months a small Bakery in Dallas had been trying to solve a rather puzzling problem. Since the beginning of the year, several of the store's regular customers had begun complaining that their pastries occasionally smelt and tasted like manure. The puzzle was finally solved after store managers installed a hidden surveillance camera to monitor the baked goods section. Upon watching the tapes, store employees were horrified to discover a 49 year-old cab driver sprinkling the bread and donuts display with his own dried and powdered fecal matter. (11/11/05). (Go to funny weird news story).

Back to top

---

---

Urine Trouble: Postal worker accused of pissing in colleagues' coffee

For the last few weeks, postal workers in the suburban town of Springfield, Ohio, had noticed that their office coffee tasted 'a little strange'. All attempts to determine the source of the problem were investigated. The old metallic coffee filter was quickly replaced. The coffee pot and all the office cups were carefully cleaned but still - the unusual taste along with a vaguely familiar musty aroma remained. It was only after two colleagues placed a hidden camera in the office kitchen that the shocking source of the tainted coffee became apparent. (9/6/05). (See video surveillance clip). (Go to funny weird news story).

Back to top

---

---

---

Enumclaw man dies after sex with horse

Last month, when the guys here at the Gag Report heard about the 45 year-old man who died after having sex with a horse, we like most people, simply assumed that his fatal injuries were the result of being kicked in the head by his unwilling equestrian 'partner'. However, an autopsy revealed that the sick little pervert actually died from internal bleeding caused by a perforated colon. Yes folks, this twisted individual will go down in history as the first person to be ass-f*#ked to death by a horse! (8/22/05). (Go to funny weird news story).

Back to top

---

 

Doctors remove padlock from man's penis

The Friday night shift in the emergency room of any major hospital is not for the faint-hearted, but occasionally, these brave doctors and nurses are rewarded for their efforts by witnessing the humorous antics of some idiot who has managed to get himself into a very embarrassing situation. That's exactly what happened last weekend to emergency workers at Exeter Hospital who were called to help a New Hampshire man after his friend apparently locked a padlock around his testicles while he lay drunk and passed out and then disappeared with the key. (8/5/05). (Go to funny weird news story).

Back to top

---

---

---

Edinburgh Dungeon plans to give free entrance to ugly people

Edinburgh Dungeon, a major Scottish tourist attraction, sparked a row last week by announcing plans to give UGLY people free entry. The Dungeon plans on having ugliness adjudicators who will determine who is hideous enough to pass the 'test' and get in for free. Dungeon manager Andrew McDonald, plans to put up signs saying: 'Uglies Go Free' and 'Are You a Minger?' (7/29/05). (Go to funny weird news story).

Back to top

---

Bulgarian thief avoids prison by having sex change op

OK guys. Here's the dilemma. You are faced with either spending the next three years in a Bulgarian prison or you can have your penis chopped off and spend the rest of your life free but as a woman. Which do you choose? This week, a Bulgarian thief, Sretko Ickov, choose the latter. Under Bulgarian law, Ickov is now considered to be a different person from the one who committed his previous crimes as a man. Hence, the case against him was immediately dropped.(7/22/05). (Go to funny weird news story).

Back to top

Top of Page
Previous		Page 1 of 7		Next Page