Photo 1: Michael Jackson was a little down-in-the-mouth about this week's soaring temperatures - (Picture source: Mediapickle.com)

Photo 2: One of Jackson's 'little playmates' is seen here shortly after a sleep-over at the Neverland estate

Jackson appeared elated during our exclusive interview with the recently acquitted King of Popsicles.

"I feel rejuvenated!", he exclaimed. "In fact, I feel like a 12-year-old boy!", he announced, causing several of the orphans to run for cover screaming.

"I'm going to party my little white ass off", he announced. "And what are you going to do about it, Sneddon? Arrest me?", taunted the smug singer as he opened up yet another bottle of Chardonney and re-filled one of his little companion's baby-bottle.

Jackson explained to our Gag reporter that he had been in a party mood ever since his lawyers had ordered the Santa Barbara County prosecutor to return the nude photos of Jacko's penis taken by the police back in 1993 during his first child-molestation investigation.

"I can wait to see the little fellow again!", exclaimed a visibly excited Jackson. When asked why he simply didn't just look at the real thing rather than wait for a 12-year old photo of his old 'John Thomas', Jackson gave the following explanation:

"You don't understand. Those photos were taken before I had plastic surgery performed on 98% of my body. It makes all the difference in the world! Those photos are the last remaining ones that show my penis when it still belonged to a black male!"

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